Coalition Blues

Is anyone else getting fed up with the Coalition? Access to power really has unsettled the Lib Dems. Firstly, we saw Nick's mob disappoint their supporters by immediately ditching many of their favourite projects, on the wholly reasonable grounds that these policies were formulated when the party had no prospect of putting them into practice. This didn't stop a lot of soppy, hessian bag waving well-off people whining about betrayal.

Now however the Lib Dems are more comfortable and feel able to start bringing daft ideas forward on a daily basis. It's their reason for being. Even the distinctly un-Conservative David Cameron is exasperated so they must be crackpot. The Tories are busy with some good stuff (they are Tories after all) and lots of Cameron projects. Cameron projects are dopey, left-liberal ideas that haven't been given a moment of proper thought.

So the defining character at the moment is the Coalition U-turn. Fabulous. No really, a great way to run a country. I used to see more coherence and clear planning on the Magic Roundabout.

There is talk that the UKIP lot are spoiling the Conservative's party by splitting supporters. Some say this is nonsense as not all UKIP voters would vote Tory. Erm, I bet they would, if the Conservative party looked, sounded and acted like, say a Conservative party. UKIP are fast becoming something other than a one trick pony; they are no longer just about getting out of the EU. This entirely common sense approach is now moulding itself around a large array of policy areas.

If UKIP were a cheese they would be Wensleydale, smooth, creamy but not everyone's first choice. A true Conservative party would be mature Cheddar, works with everything, broad appeal, robust and British. The Lib Dems (and the likes of Cameron) would be Parmesan. Great on ragu, but smelly and not something you would want on its own. Labour? I don't know, nothing much comes to mind. Probably that bit of cheese you threw away because it was mouldy, you know, corrupted.

So, the Conservatives have to get back on track and do truly conservative things. Like shrinking the size of Government. We hear so many stories about how Osborne's latest tax wheeze will cause untold grief (often for tiny potential gain), but not a squeak about how much less Government is going to spend.

For example, the static caravan tax. Firstly, how the hell did he dream that one up? After eating a bad pasty or watching too much Dale Farm (an ordinary tale, of ordinary non-travelling, traveller folk)? Anyway, this will doubtless cause holiday sites to buy fewer new caravans, which means they will probably get fewer guests and so earn less to pay tax on. The manufacturers of the caravans will lay people off, so increasing welfare payments by the state and the company also paying less tax. So, how much was he hoping it would raise?

Anyway, in all of this you have private companies making rational decisions. Faced with lower incomes they cut back. When will Government learn that simple lesson? When will Osborne say, 'you know we spend money on an awful lot of things that don't actually achieve anything? Or serve a useful purpose. And then there is the £80+ billion that we just waste each year'?

Let's have some more Cheddar.