Urgent Need For Government Action

I have come to the conclusion that the people of the United Kingdom are in very grave danger (is there any other kind?). My research has thrown up disturbing suggestions that the population is exposed to the possibility of lion attack.

You may be comfortable at present with your commute and nice holidays and trips to the cinema, but what if one of your children was eaten by a lion? You would be devastated and maybe worse, you left it late to have a child and now are too old to organise a replacement.

Now I'm aware you may say that in your daily travels you have yet to see a lion, or hear of anyone being attacked by one. However, if you study the literature it is clear they have been here, some still are and may become more numerous and more bold.

Clearly, we cannot take any risks with the safety of our children and our children's children, so we must act now and act decisively. It is obvious that the government must provide every household (at least) with a firearm to protect themselves from lions and palisade railings around every property.

This will be expensive but is there any alternative? I don't think so. Some people will say lions aren't a danger and there is no evidence to suggest they will become so, but we cannot afford to listen to them, we must invoke the precautionary principle and act now.

In fact people who do not believe in the imminent danger from lions want your babies to be eaten and in fact probably kill babies themselves already. I, on the other hand am an expert.

As an aside, it is possible that the level of expenditure necessary will be beyond the means of a free market capitalist system to provide. Obviously an elite of experts such as myself could take over and run a command economy from the centre, where important projects will be funded and each person will be given some of their money back, according to our interpretation of their needs.

Dissenters will not then be the problem they are now. People will be free from the fear of lions. We don't want it to go this way of course, but too many objections may interfere with the proper running of the project, for the people, so a strong force will be needed to enable us to ignore those objections.